Sunday Funnies: Travel Version

Hours from home, stopping for a bathroom break at a gas station, Logan spots a familiar-looking box on the shelves. "Mommy! I figured out where Grandma bought my cornbread!"

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Logan saw this statue in Artesia:

and said excitedly, "Mommy, I know why they made that statue!" Expecting something about the importance of librarians, I asked, "Why?" Logan: "because she was reading a book and they shot her!"

Um...

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Good news! The snow is melting!

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Shane just walked by me saying, "Bye-bye! Love you!"

'Bout time he got a job.

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Kid Comics: Let's Be Hilarious!

Your Sunday funnies for this week!

Sheridan is going for 'sophisticated' today. Logan is going for...um...

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Sheridan (while painting with her brothers): "I am good at painting pictures. I am going to put mine here so the boys can copy it." #andhumbletoo

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Mommy says I can only be nekkid if I'm sitting on the potty, so I'll just do everything here today.

"Snowing, Mommy! Snowing!"

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Logan: "Sheridan, let's be hilarious!"

(So, they PLAN it! Makes so much sense.)

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Shane just brought me his cocoa cup, complaining that it was "bad! really bad!" But...I notice it is completely empty.

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Asked the kids if anything interesting happened in school. Sheridan said something about PE. Christopher had nothing. What are their normal days like, when AN ENTIRE TROUPE OF CLOWNS doesn't bear mentioning?

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Logan: "Mommy, it will be infinity days before we die!"

Me: "That's good! I..."

Logan, interrupting my sweet thoughts: "But not for you, because you have been a grown-up already for a long, long time."

Sweet thoughts gone.

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Shane was carrying his cereal bowl around, which he is not supposed to do, and spilled it all over the living room floor, which is why. Not to worry, though - before Mommy could get the broom, he smashed every single corn flake to smithereens with his plastic hammer.

Kid Comics

One of my friends says opening my Facebook page is like reading the Sunday funnies. So, just for you, WC, here's a week's worth! Several of these were stolen from Grandma's Facebook page...

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Shane runs into Grandma's kitchen, laughing hysterically. 

Grandma asks, "What's so funny?"

Shane: "MEEE!!!!". Runs off cackling.

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Somewhere in the middle of breakfast, the kids decided to play some version of hide and seek. While they are busy chasing each other from one end of the house to the other, Shane is going from seat to seat, quietly finishing off their breakfasts.

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Over dinner, started talking about the doll Christopher had, to practice being a big brother before Sheridan was born. Sheridan ran over to give him a big hug as we talked about what a great big brother we knew he would be, and what a great big brother he is.

So Christopher licked her.

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Someone discovered the ski mask in the mitten box...and he's growling at me. The best was his reaction when I showed him the picture of himself - he backed away and said "Scared!"



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Logan and Shane are playing in the living room with the big legos. Logan: "Shane, I really like what you made! You're a real artist, you know that? Here, do you want to use these ones too? Wow, that is awesome!"

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Yes Shane, it's a good idea to brush Tinkerbelle Kitty.

But not with the toilet bowl brush, please!

A Day at Home with the Kids

C. is at Grandma's, so I only have S. and L. to entertain me. Short post.

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S. comes to me, shaking her head, saying, "Your son!" To investigate, or not to investigate?

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Left S. in the kitchen, stirring the gelatin for a minute (we are making these as we study the letter "J"). Came back and she announced, happily, "Mommy, I added the rest of it!"

The rest of....??

Oh, the rest of the soapy water in the measuring cup that I had been using to dip the peach jam out of the pot. Yummers. Let's start this batch over, shall we?

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Overheard:
"Don't drop the baby! Well, is there blood on her head? Okay, then."

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While it distresses me that the stuffed animals are so badly behaved, I'm glad to know it wasn't S. who dumped the math manipulatives all over the dining room.

All About Me

One of my favorite bloggers, Amber Dusick at Parenting Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, along with Jenn at Something Clever 2.0 suggested letting your kids write your "All About Me" section. Since I am currently feeling too lazy to review any of the books in the pile on my desk, I thought this sounded like a wonderfully productive idea. I stole some questions from both, and this is what we came up with:

 

 

How old am I?

 Sheridan: 17
Christopher: 100

Hmm.
 

What do I like to eat?
Christopher: Pizza, leftovers.
Sheridan: Hamburgers, mac n cheese, salads and vegetables.

Hey, guys? Nobody likes leftovers.
 

What do I wear?
Sheridan: Big shirts.

It's called being pregnant, okay?!

 

What is my favorite movie?
Both: Cowboys.

??? Then again, I did marry Sam Elliot.

 

What do I do after you guys go to bed?
C.: Work on the computer.
S.: And in the kitchen.

Sure, we can call that work.

What did I do when I was a little girl?

C.: Go to school.
S.: You did things you didn't supposed to do.

 

What do I do at work?
Both: Read stories and do prizes!
Besides that?
S.: You're the boss!

Mmm...okay, sure.

 

What is my favorite thing to do?
S.: Type on the computer and bonk your head.
C.: Watch us play.

 

What do I dream about?
C.: Us!

Pretty much! And tonight I'm sure I'll be dreaming about you bonking me on the head while I work on the computer and eat mac n cheese.

 

 

 



SuperKids

I feel perfectly safe at home - I have my protectors!

 

 

On a serious-er note, this weekend the kids went to an Earth Day fair with Grandma. There was one of those bouncy slides, and C. and S. went up and down it several times - until the time S. went up, and didn't come down. Grandma looked up at the top and saw S. cowering in a ball as other, obnoxious kids, pushed in front of her repeatedly. My heart still hurts just thinking about it. My poor, sweet girl can run rings around other kids intellectually, but she crumbles when someone is mean to her.

 

Big brother to the rescue, though! He climbed back up, took her by the hand, and slid back down with her. Just, as I told him later, like a superhero. That's what every little girl needs:)



Thoughts on Baby-to-Be

S: "I will help take care of the baby. I will lick her. I don't think she will like that." (Last part said quite gleefully)

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I am three weeks pregnant. Getting into the van, C. surveys me and says, "Mom, I think you are getting fat."

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Me to S: "What will you teach the new baby?"
S: (with no hesitation) "How to be a turd!"

Kidisms

Listening as C. puts a puzzle together and S. keeps up a running commentary:

"I know how to do lots of stuff but I don't know how to do this but I know how to do lots of stuff and you are teaching me to do lots of stuff and you are teaching me to do this and lots of other kinds of stuff..."

(next week's lesson: periods.)

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C: (dressed as Batman) "Can I call you Alfred?"
Me: "No, you can't call me Alfred, I am not your butler!"
C: "What's a butler?"
Me: "It's someone who...." (thinking about it) "Okay, I'm your butler."

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There seems to be some confusion over Star Wars characters:

S: "...and Dark Vader and Dark Sidious."
C: "Dark Vader cut off Luke Skywalker's hand."
S: "But, we don't want to kill God! God is a nice man."

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Me: "L., use a paper towel, don't wipe your fingers on your pants."

F: "He's not wearing pants."

 

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!!!

Volcano!

Nothing makes Mom look cool, while not costing a penny, like the old baking-soda-and-vinegar trick (assuming you already have baking soda and vinegar in your kitchen.) This one actually cost me a whopping $2, because I found a volcano kit at a yard sale last week (it's New Mexico - we have yard sales in January.) It has been good for hours of business, because first we had to build it:

 



 

Oh, and then read the instructions.

 

 

And paint it.

 

serious work!

 

And then place the dinosaurs. Because.

 

 

Then comes the exciting part! A little baking soda...

 

 

a little vinegar..

 

 

a lot of excitement!

 

 

And, if your children are weird, some vinegar-sniffing at the end. I guess his sinuses will be clear.

 

 

What are Fourth Graders Thankful For?

 

Puppies and pizza and chocolate and iPods...

 

...and facial features.

 

 

Makes sense - who wants to look like Voldemort?!