Bad parenting confession time. When Christopher was younger, I told him not to stick toys or anything into electrical outlets, but I completely failed to tell him not to LICK them.
Oh, sure, go ahead and laugh - but YOU try explaining that to the nice lady on the nurse hotline. Come to think of it, I think she was laughing, too. The blisters did go away after a couple days.
Point being, SOME people's children are extremely literal and need very specific instructions on what not to do at times. Like, when Mommy asks you to be quiet so the baby can sleep. So hard when you're an adorable alligator with lots of exciting ideas! Fortunately, Mommy and Gwendolyn come up with the perfect solution.
Be prepared to snort a time or two while reading this, especially if you have a little Gwendolyn (or two or four) at home.