...you tell someone, "I love you," and get in response something meaningful like, "I ate your ear."
...you can't remember the last time you ate something yummy all by yourself, in your own home, without hiding.
...you go to the bathroom with the door open, because you know the sound of the door closing will trigger three different emergencies that need your immediate attention.
...you have ever picked someone else's boogers.
... you know that buckling your own car seat or pouring your own juice are much bigger milestones than walking or talking.
...you buy furniture and clothing based on washability and durability, not on how they actually look.
...you have ever told someone to just pee on a tree.
...when a phone rings, you automatically yell, "Okay, everybody be quiet for a minute!"
...you can read more than one picture book without ever looking at the pages.
...going to the grocery store all by yourself seems like the height of luxury.