Housework Help

Such a good kid. At least he throws up in the tiled dining room, and not the carpeted living room. Four times. So far.

So tell me, are we in trouble?

S. started climbing on top of her play cube, and I told her, "You get that foot off, young lady!" She grinned, said "Okay!" and put the other foot up on it.

This after I caught her PRACTICING her pouty face in the mirror yesterday.

Pouting Practice

No...

Not enough lip...

Almost...turn the corners down just a little bit more, and really get the eyes into it...

That's it! Perfect!

Nascar races - slower than a toddler

Went to a party at a friend's house tonight (I think we were supposed to be watching a bunch of drivers making continual left turns). C. spent the entire time running around with a pack of boys, which he SO needed to do. S. walked around dusting everything in the house with a tissue. She blew her nose in it every now and then - gives the wood that extra shine.

So, if they got all the exercise, why am I exhausted?

An All-Purpose Insult

After recovering from my last blog post, M. wondered aloud what C. would actually say to his sister's boyfriend. He thought. And thought. And thought. And finally came up with:

















"You're a watermelon."

Yup, you can't say much more than that.

Fun with Sadism

Teenager approaches with her best "I'm such an angel you can't possibly say no to me" look.

"Mooooooom?"

"Yeeeeess?"

"What are your plans for Friday?"

"Um...work?"

"After work?"

"Why?"

"Welllllllll....Chet asked if I wanted to go to the carnival with him..."

"And you want me to go with you! That's so sweet, I would LOVE to!"

"NO! Nonononono. You can just drop me off at he carnival, and then later Dad can come and pick me..."

"Oh, don't be silly honey, your dad doesn't need to drive all the way back off the hill again. I don't mind at all."

"But...no..."

"In fact, why don't I bring Christopher? That way, we'll be an even number when we go on all the rides together."

Crickets. Wide-eyed stare of horror as she pictures standing in long lines with the boyfriend, while Mom tells a string of embarrassing stories, and little brother alternately glares at the boyfriend and asks things like, "Are you getting married?"

Hee hee. I don't know why people think having a teenager is scary, I'm quite enjoying myself.

One Has to Wonder...

...why is my husband knowledgable of the gun laws in Nepal?

Of Mice and Moms

The plan was, I would leave work an hour early today, meet Daddy at a School Board function, and head up the hill around the usual time.

I'm noticing lately that a lot of my stories begin with, "The plan was..."

As I was waiting to pull out onto Tenth Street, I noticed a very large collie trotting down the side of the road. No accompanying human in sight. Crud. God, with His usual sense of humor, timed all the traffic nicely so I had plenty of time for my internal argument. (Really? Rush hour on Tenth Street? Seriously, God?)

"Someone else will pick him up."
"Nobody is stopping."
"I told Daddy I'd meet him. He's probably already there."
"Are you kidding me? He called you from the house ten minutes ago. He probably hasn't reached the highway."
"He'll probably just run away."
"Only one way to find out, isn't there?"
Sigh.

So, I pulled in by the appliance store and got out. I left my door open while I slowly approached. "Hi, sweetie! Hi there, puppy dog! What are you doing out all by yourse- in my car?"

So much for running away. I checked the collar - woohoo! Three tags, one for rabies from a local vet, one with a name and TWO cell phone numbers, and the yellow Home-Again tag that means he's microchipped. This should be easy. I memorized the first cell number and borrowed the phone in the appliance store. Disconnected. Back out to the van to memorize the second number. Very loud bagpipe music. Bagpipes?! Finally, an answer.

"Hello?"
"Are you by chance missing a collie?"
"Am I missing a collie?"
"A collie -a dog - are you missing a large collie-type dog? I found him wandering down the road."
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh this is so not good."
"I can bring him to you if you can tell me where."
"I'm in El Paso."
Okay, maybe not.

I'll spare you the next hour or so of arrangements and rearrangements, much of which consisted of the dog and I sitting on the grass outside the Library, me having the same conversation with every passing patron:

"Beautiful dog!"
"Yep."
"Is it a boy or girl?"
"Not a clue."
"Is it friendly?"
"Sure seems to be. Oof, get off my lap, dog."

Finally, the dog's owner (never did get either name) showed up, and everyone went on their merry way. I did not make it to the Board thing, but I got most of a book read. Hopefully the next reader won't mind the drool spots.

Boogie Boogie

Further proof my child is a genius: she has learned how to blow her own nose.

C. doesn't quite have the hang of that yet, and he is almost five. Apparently, though, I have been teaching him all wrong. What you are supposed to do is stick a finger up one nostril and then make snuffling-dog noises until boogers come out the other side. In addition to clearing out the breathing passages, it causes adults to cry "Ew, baby girl" and laugh hysterically all at the same time.

Anything to entertain.

New Mexico Weather

Just passed a guy in shorts and a tank top working on pipes that must have frozen and burst earlier this week. Gotta love it.

Just a Bunch of Sickos

Which is worse, when everyone (including Mom) is sick at once, or when they all take turns, back to back? Apparently we can't decide, so we do a combination. Everyone gets a variety of ills, overlapping slightly. There is enough variety that we can't even just set up a weekly open spot with the doctor, but also have to run to the dentist, the ear-nose-throat guy, and of course, the pharmacy.

S. is finally getting over what seemed to be a six-month cold. Nothing quite as pitiful (or sleepless) as a baby who can't breathe while lying down. Somewhere in there she got an ear infection requiring antibiotics, her second in three months - I foresee tubes in her future. Friday she had her one-year-old shots, which are everyone's least favorite. She, true to form, was hyper and goofy rather than sleepy, until finally crashing later that night. I think it took Daddy a bit longer to recover from the trauma:)

C. saw the ENT a few weeks ago to try to decipher why he has become King of the Nose Bleeds. We were given nose drops, which he hates, so he countered by picking up S's cold (meaning nose drops aren't happening), upping the ante with some serious chest congestion. His turn on antibiotics. That also got him out of his already overdue dental appointment, now rescheduled for next month. Don't tell him, but he is also overdue for s-h-o-t-s.

Mom had her turn at the dentist, with an appointment set for next week to replace a loose filling. Loose became missing this morning, with a possible infection setting in - really not good when you are pregnant. Back to the pharmacy again, antibiotics for Mom, in addition to the lovely little white pills that enable her to actually eat while pregnant. Of course, she can now only use one side of her mouth, but it's something.
Now Daddy seems to have picked up the cold (but will have to be at death's door before he'll see a doctor), and has given up sleep for the New Year. M. has stayed relatively healthy...knock wood! I guess even germs shy away from rotten teenagers:)

I have to say, I really hate taking anything when I'm pregnant, as thankful as I am for those little white pills. Amoxicillin is not a big deal, and a whole lot better than having an infection in your mouth while pregnant, but I still don't like it. Add in my Junior Motrin when my tooth hurts, and I have lots of Mommy Guilt. One of the best things I ever bought was a device you can use at home to listen to the baby's heartbeat - an instant cure for anxiety! The only problem is finding 15 consecutive seconds of quiet to count the little swoosh-swoosh sounds...

That was it.

That was all the spare time I had today. Titled the blog. Hope you enjoy.